Life has been taking some very interesting twists and turns as of late, and ever since I’ve taken space away from my blogs.
I’ve moved (twice), I’ve resigned myself to finishing school (and gaining my Bachelors in BA), and have lost two jobs (due to no fault of the employees’ own). So to say that I’m feeling a little uninspired is not saying much at all.
The ride has been mildly entertaining, although I have definitely been going through a full range of emotions, from sad to angry and depressed to cheerfully optimistic. The only constant that has been a true pillar for me is my son, and that’s probably more than enough, because I can’t ever let myself really fall apart around him, no mater what. I wouldn’t dare let myself get down enough to let him feel the energy around that would affect him in a negative way. I always want him to be happy and to smile, no matter what I’m going through internally. The confusion, however, is slowly taking over.
I am trying to get away from the familiar but a lot pulls me back into the field I know so well. As much as I want to stray and put my energy into something else, something more fulfilling, I am holding myself back. It’s a sad case, but one I am battling all of the time. I’ve been trying to keep going, to keep myself busy and distracted with other work for other people, but it always comes back to what do I want. That’s the question I am continuously asking myself. I am serious need of some real evaluation. I think that would really make me feel more inspired. The industry I love, I feel, is falling down little by little. If I want to continue on this path, I will have to take some risks, and create my own path if I’m going to stick around.
I know one thing for certain, I am going to make sure I always leave room for this outlet.